WHERE'S THE CORAL REEF????

So we all know that diet alone doesn't work and actually makes you crazy. So I am going to step up my exercise ( which is really just yoga ) with some cardio. Swimming is the exercise of choice for me so back to the pool I go, I go. Now, as a "real" swimmer, I go equipped with my goggles and cap and a typical one piece "racing suit". There I am, minding my own business, doing my lengths up and down beside son number two when I notice her. She is standing on the pool deck in a bikini with a snorkel and full mask in one hand. I have to stop and stare. Yes, sure enough, she is entering the water, donning the scuba gear and swimming laps??? WTF. Weird, but this is Cambridge after all. Back to the lengths. Almost done and buddy pulls up beside me in the next lane. He is middle aged, in tight black boy short type speedo, tanned and with very white teeth. OMG. What is that in his hand? A snorkel and mask? Am I missing something. Is there a friggin coral reef at the bottom of the pool that I am missing? Some tropical fish getting away on me?
Again, I have to stop and stare. Son number two is not amused with me. Come on!!!! It appears that if they wear this ridiculous gear, they dont have to turn their head to breathe....that or they are checking me out in my stretched out, gapping, black, sexy as hell, 100 year old Roots racing suit. Nothing surprises me anymore.
Off to the mall. BIG mistake. Went for a new bathing suit. That wasn't the problem. It was the food surrounding me! Checked out the new crepe place. Number one son says, " Come on mom, you can't eat anything there!". Then just to rub it in when we pass the food court he says the same thing. The candy aisle at Zellers was also depressing. Stopped in front of Booster Juice cause of course, I am starving. Sucks. Sugar galore. Hey, look! There's Dairy Queen. Now I am crying. Squeeze into the size 14 speedo at Sears and get the hell outta there.
The good today was being under on the calories again ( my pal added 411 for my swim!!!), the bad was the realization that I cannot eat anywhere in public and the ugly....well.....let's be honest here, the ugly is a 51 year old with enough cellulite to stop a bus pouring herself into a tight racing suit under the bright lights with underarm fat squeezing out. Yeah, baby!